Waiting for that ‘someday’

Ten years from now, guaranteed I’ll be a great teacher. My lessons will unfold exactly as I hope, no more mistakes, classroom management will never present me with any new challenges, and I will be an expert at designing truly authentic learning experiences and orchestrating deep—very deep—discussions that truly capture and elicit my students’ curiosity.

Of course, that’s a lie. But a lie that as a beginning teacher you tend to believe is true. That today is about making mistakes and tomorrow—that someday—is about becoming an expert teacher. But then, as you begin to emerge yourself in the practice, this image starts to fade away. Bit-by-bit you start to realize that that ‘someday’ doesn’t even exist and this image is serving more as a justification for making mistakes. As if somewhere down the line mistakes will no longer be valid or acceptable. As if teaching, the art of tapping into another human’s brain, influencing the shape of neural pathways and continually trying to make learning relevant to the changing world around us is something that is finite.

How could I have believed that this is true while holding on to the idea that teachers are researchers? When does research ever stop? When does the learning ever stop?

I had five goals written out before walking into my final practicum and it was time to reflect on them. Did I meet my goals? Can I place a checkmark now beside all these areas?

No, I didn’t meet all my goals. I didn’t even know what the criteria for that even means. Sure, I developed in some areas, but in others, I barely touched the surface. In fact, the more I reflected and the more reading I was doing online to find out what other great teachers are doing in these areas, the more I realized how much more learning lies ahead of me. I could only think of this quote in that moment:

knowledge-quote

But I was perfectly satisfied with that and instead of feeling disappointed, I continued to read with a smile on my face. I was exactly where I wanted to be because as Dan Meyer once placed it, “I need a job that has me learning everyday.”  Not to say that learning only occurs in the field of teaching, but rather, it’s the type of knowledge seeking that excites your neurons, whether it be about education, arts, sports, fashion –whatever makes you curious to learn more.

Today, my fixed mindset image about ‘someday’ mastering the art of teaching no longer exists. Instead, it’s reflected more in a truly authentic yet unfinished painting with only one purpose —to keep you curious.

In a previous post, I made a sketchnote reflection about my top 10 What Went Well during practicum with the intention of following up with an Even Better If one, but the list was simply too long. I ended up writing this instead, but as a final Even Better If statement: aim to be an expert in the content of your subject, but know that the art of transferring that knowledge will always be a work in progress –enjoy the painting more!

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